Most of us know someone who struggles with an addiction. Often it’s alcohol or drug abuse. But other types also cause trouble— like gambling, food, sex, shopping, internet surfing or even the need for approval from others.

Steve Chandler’s Death Wish: The Path through Addiction to a Glorious Life is a must-read for anyone who has an addiction or cares about someone who does.

What’s most significant about this book is the way Steve invites you to THINK about addiction.

You won’t find advice or how-to steps.

No research data or footnotes.

Just a fellow human being sharing his own journey through masterful writing and story-telling. A skilled coach and guide who shows how you can evolve and even THRIVE in life.

I’ve read 10 other Steve Chandler books, and in each one I’ve been impressed by the way he’s guided me to change the way I think about – and then change my behavior around – a specific topic.

Whether it’s fear/courage (Fearless) or money (Wealth Warrior) or time management (Time Warrior) or personality (Reinventing Yourself), I’ve discovered insights about my beliefs and feelings that are rooted in the thoughts I’ve repeated to myself over time.


I love Steve’s creative revision to the serenity prayer because the word “acceptance” conjured up a defeated, fatalistic feeling for him (changes in bold):

"God, grant me the serenity to explore (and enjoy) the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to love the difference."

This subject of addiction is serious stuff. Yet Steve skillfully injects humor to remind us about the value of bringing a sense of lightheartedness and fun to any situation because “heavy thoughts don’t solve problems.”

You don’t have to be addicted to a substance like drugs or alcohol to benefit from this book. If you’re preoccupied with any behaviors that reduce the quality of your life – e.g., food, gambling or even trying to please others – you’ll find ideas that can lead to a more peaceful, happy life.

“The problem in life starts when you think you have to add something to the present moment to make it better.” – Steve Chandler

In his LinkedIn Riches course (which I highly recommend), John Nemo suggests you create a head-shot “About Me” video introducing yourself and place it at the bottom of your LinkedIn Summary section. It’s a terrific way for people to get to know you better because they can watch you describe the type of work you do, the audience you serve and what you offer.

When I heard about this idea, I thought it would be fairly straightforward. Boy, was I wrong!

I wholeheartedly agreed with his recommendation but kept putting it off. I had all kinds of excuses…It would be a hassle to set up the lighting, microphone and camera…I wasn’t sure what kind of message would resonate with my current and potential connections…I was concerned about how I’d come across.

All that thinking boils down to fear that the video (and therefore, I) would fall short of the ideal. Of course, this “ideal” was something that I had conjured up in my head and did not exist in reality.

My procrastination was a form of PERFECTIONISM.

For me perfectionism means having ridiculously high standards and being afraid to take action due to a fear of failure or criticism from others.

I realized that I was holding myself to standards that I would never think to impose on anyone else.

I finally took the plunge and made the commitment to get the video done immediately.

I like planning and structure, so I drafted a script that would serve as my guide. Unfortunately, I did not USE it as a guide. I actually tried to memorize the whole thing and practiced it numerous times to get the words and tone right. Not a good idea!

Day 1 - CHALLENGES

I enlisted my husband Lee to set up the lighting and use his camera to record the video. He is a mechanical genius, so that was smart teamwork.

When I did earlier headshot videos a few years ago, I recorded them by myself. I didn’t anticipate how self-conscious I’d feel with Lee standing behind the camera. I got distracted by thoughts of him evaluating me as I spoke (totally unfounded since I know how much he loves me) and forgot what I wanted to say next, so I had to stop and restart several times.

Another reason I stumbled over my lines was due to trying to recall and repeat the script verbatim instead of speaking from the heart.

Then we ran into technical challenges with the camera. No problem. Lee has a second one. Ha! We had issues with that one, too. That meant stopping so he could investigate the problems.

By the time he was ready, we were both mentally tired and decided to postpone the shoot until the next day.

Day 2 – SUCCESS!

The next morning I got up early so I could process the events of the previous day and figure out how to ensure a smooth recording this time.

Thinking and reflecting worked.

I had 3 insights that gave me just what I needed.

1. I realized I was taking this project WAY too seriously!

That was a huge ah-ha. When we’re in the middle of something we’ve deemed important, we tend to take ourselves very seriously – and expect the same from others.

I committed to having FUN so I could enjoy the preparation and recording process.

Big thanks to Jason Goldberg and Steve Chandler for their inspiration to take a more playful approach to everything in life with their writings and The-Not-So-Serious Life Web TV show!


2. I took a few minutes to visualize myself being relaxed and confident in my delivery.

I knew what I wanted to communicate. I just needed to calm down and remember that I was connecting with one person at a time, just like in a 1-1 conversation.

3. I gave up memorizing the script and simply outlined the key points I wanted to make.

This approach allowed me to focus on the natural flow of my words and allowed me to speak more smoothly.

I’m happy to report that I was able to record the video in the FIRST take that morning.

It’s now in my Summary section, and I’ve included it below in case you’d like to see how it turned out (3:19 minutes).

Leave a comment and let me know if you’ve ever had a project that you took too seriously and what you did to get past your fears to complete it.

I have never read a book like Jody Vehr's before.

Just Hit Send has a riveting story line and reads like one of those novels you can’t put down.

But it’s so much more.

Jody's writing style immediately captured my mind, heart and spirit…and held me captive throughout the entire book. This is the true story of a woman who faced incredible challenges and prevailed despite her raging inner critic and ongoing self-doubts.

It’s also a beautiful love story, showing how strong and emotionally healthy a union can be when both people work on their own growth in advance of meeting each other.

I loved Jody’s willingness to be vulnerable with the reader. She doesn’t hesitate to describe her dismay, shock, and angst as she reveals the details of her life’s journey. I could identify with many of her limiting thoughts and false beliefs. I believe they are universal, but I’d never before experienced anyone capturing them in such an emotionally compelling way.

I’m a huge fan of Steve Hardison’s work (his 2-hour video on TBOLITNFL.com is profound) and Steve Chandler’s books (including the one she references in her book, Time Warrior), so it was an unexpected bonus to discover the ways each of these coaches contributed to her transformation. In fact, Jody’s retelling of her phone conversations with Steve Hardison is worth the price of the book alone because he demonstrates love and service in action.

This is a wonderfully written book that has deeply touched my life and forever changed how I see myself and the world. If you’re seeking a spiritual transformation in your own life, I highly recommend you grab a copy of this book, absorb the wisdom in its pages and start living anew.

This sentence from the book describes what happened for me:

Steve Chandler’s Wealth Warrior has had a more profound impact on my attitude about money than anything else I’ve ever read.

I’ve now studied 7 of Steve’s books. They’re quick, easy reads because he uses a conversational style, and the chapters are short. But don’t be deceived by this simplicity. The points he makes are profound and potentially life-changing.

Steve tells stories about his own life that we can all relate to. He describes his flaws and perceived limitations so we can more easily recognize our own. He encourages us to challenge beliefs we cling to that have not served us – in fact, they’ve held us back.

His goal is to boldly serve those who follow his work. That means Steve’s not afraid to speak the truth, to rattle some cages. He wants to wake us up to what’s real, not our perception of what’s real. For example…


Wait, how can this be? Money is a very serious matter, right? If you don’t have enough of it, you can’t pay your bills. How can he possibly make this claim?

The incident he shared around this statement had a jarring effect on me. It opened my eyes for the first time in my life to the role that fun and playfulness can have when thinking about money.

Steve was about to enter a salary negotiation with his then-boss because he felt he was being paid far less than the value he was contributing to the company. He dreaded having the conversation because he was convinced the man was “an insecure, vicious miser” who would balk at his request. In his own mind, Steve felt justifiably worried about the man’s potential reaction.

Fortunately, he knew someone who understood the importance of having fun, a coach who did not see seriousness as a productive use of time or energy when it comes to producing wealth. Together they role-played exercises to prepare Steve for the meeting with his boss, and they were both laughing at the end of their time together. In fact, Steve reports that it was “one of the most fun encounters” in his life.

His dreaded meeting turned into a positive, friendly conversation where he received a very fair salary.

Steve felt the difference in his body and mind between having a serious attitude versus a playful attitude about money.

What about you? Is money a very somber subject for you?

Wealth Warrior is about so much more than getting past the fear and anxiety many of us have around money. Study and apply Steve Chandler’s insights, and you’ll be astounded at the transformations you experience in your thoughts and in your life.

I just finished reading the last “time management” book I’ll ever need.

Actually, referring to Time Warrior by Steve Chandler as that kind of book is a misnomer. Because it’s so much more.

Chandler nails the culprits that prevent us from getting the most from each day, such as:

• A need to please and be liked by others 
• Self-doubts about our ability to get organized or accomplish our goals
• Wrong-headed belief that procrastination is a permanent character defect
• Lack of a strong purpose or mission
• Failure to simply get started on the first step of a project

The solutions Chandler outlines are simple yet brilliant, and they’re EASY to implement. A few examples…

BELIEFS

Chandler challenges the reader to consider that poor time management is always a problem of belief.  What thought are you believing about a specific task or project that makes you unwilling to even start?

If you’re not open to challenging the assumptions and beliefs you carry around, you’re more likely to continue suffering from procrastination. Unexamined self-doubt and fears can paralyze your mind and body.

FOCUS

We know it’s important to give our full attention to the task at hand, without interruptions or distractions. But I tend to think I need to move fast or speed up to get more done. Chandler advises relaxing and slowing down.

He illustrates with a powerful story of a coaching client who booked a $3,000 speech with a company and then started rushing around looking for new business in other organizations. Steve encouraged him to slow down and think about this one company, to consider other ways he could be of service. The man set up meetings with other executives in the organization and asked questions that uncovered additional needs. As a result of these interactions, he expanded his work to a full year with twenty times the original income. Just by slowing down and taking time to focus on this one client.

Also, achieving focus in your work requires boldness. You have to be willing to say “no” to anything that interferes with the objectives you've identified.

ACTION 

Chandler stresses that action is always the answer. And he makes it easy to get started by encouraging you to devote just three minutes to your task. This prevents you from finding reasons to put it off.

The more things you complete, the more energy you have. Procrastination drains your energy – you’re preoccupied with thinking instead of doing. You’re worrying and experiencing negative feelings related to the thing you don’t want to do. If you just jump in and finish one piece, your energy shifts.

Keep it creative and simple by asking, whenever you feel stuck: What needs to be done now in these three minutes?

PRESENT MOMENT

You only have NOW. Fear comes from living in the future in your mind.

Steve Chandler has often found that his clients’ greatest opportunities are right in front of them…in the very next conversation they’re about to have. But they will miss seeing it, much less take advantage of it, if they’re preoccupied pursuing their “better future.”

You can start fresh every day, creating the future you want now and commit to living it today.

Eliminate overwhelm by thinking about just the one thing you are working on at this moment.