Jake and Alison Foley

On Saturday, September 24, our daughter Alison got married.

People get married every day, of course, but when it’s your own child, that’s different.

Selecting the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with is a very big deal, but too often that decision is not given enough thought. Important areas of compatibility – such as values, spending habits, sex, religion and attitudes about money – are often not explored adequately up-front. So issues are likely to emerge after the couple says, “I do.” The result: Too many marriages that end in divorce.

With Alison and Jake, I believe things will be different. They are two mature people who took the time to really get to know each other well. They invested the effort to tackle these critical subjects and work through them. The prognosis for their long-term happiness is excellent.

So their wedding ceremony was a genuine celebration. The love and commitment they have for each other was clearly visible. One of the ministers (a close friend of Alison’s for 12 years) had asked each of them to send her a letter describing why they had decided to marry. There were not many dry eyes in the church as she read portions of their letters. Each of them put a lot of thought into their replies, and their heart-felt words came through loud and clear.


Jake and Alison are strong, independent individuals. Yet as their relationship grew and deepened, they came to realize that they were more complete with each other than without.

When you think about it, that’s how every healthy relationship should be. The other person contributes something significant that enriches your life and helps you become an even better person.

So consider this: What can you do to lift up the people who are most important to you, to help them recognize and fulfill their true potential?

Never underestimate the positive impact you can have on another’s life when you take time to affirm who they are and what they’re capable of.

Alison and Jake have chosen well, and I’m excited about their continued evolution as a couple and as individuals. You’ll be hearing more about their life adventure together in future posts.

Meanwhile, enjoy one of the readings from their ceremony:

I Love You by Carl Sandburg

I love you for what you are, but I love you yet more for what you are going to be.
I love you not so much for your realities as for your ideals.
I pray for your desires, that they be great
rather than for your satisfactions, which may be so hazardously little.
A satisfied flower is one whose petals are about to fall.
But the most beautiful rose is one hardly more than a bud,
wherein the pangs and ecstasies of desire are working for a larger and finer growth.
Not always shall you be what you are now.
You are growing toward something great.
I am on the way with you and therefore I love you.